


2x20 Missing Scene

by Saadie



Series: Missing Scenes & Codas [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x20, Alec's POV, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Gen, Jace Wayland (mentioned) - Freeform, Missing Scene, Parabatai, Parabatai Feels, Show Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saadie/pseuds/Saadie
Summary: Alec's POV during the period of time when he thought his parabatai was dead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up right at the end of the scene where Alec collapses as Jace dies. On the show Alec went from on the floor to seeming fine when they went through the portal, so I wanted to fill that in and then carry it through.

"I... I can't feel him.... He's dead..." Alec says, breathless and  _ broken _ . He feared this truth from the first jolt of pain in his parabatai rune, the likes of which he had never felt before.

But now that pain from a moment ago has vanished – along with his rune. Left in its place is... nothing. A piece of him – of his heart, his soul – is gone.

Just... gone.

At first he can only lay there, half collapsed on the floor, while he searches inside himself, seeking to feel something,  _ anything _ . But it’s hopeless; all traces of their bond have disappeared.

As the horror sinks in, Alec feels the urge to further recede into himself, into the fresh void... 

But he struggles against it. They’re in the middle of a war, and  _ he  _ is their leader.

Though he has unsubscribed from the theory that emotions only get in the way, Alec knows that in the coming hours or days or weeks or however long this war takes, he must cling to those years training of how to lead with his head, instead of his heart. 

Breathing sharply, he begins to push himself into a seated position, fighting the instinct to curl up as a wave of nausea unexpectedly sweeps over him as he moves. He is vaguely aware of Magnus's hands on his shoulders helping to right his body, but the touch seems impossibly distant.

Alec closes his eyes and tries to settle his breathing, and his stomach. Once he is comfortable he finally lets himself lean into the empty, numb, feeling spreading through his body. 

Almost immediately the fog parts and he can hear Izzy, sitting next to him, repeating his name. He only opens his eyes in response.

"He may be in shock," he hears Magnus say on the other side of him.

Shock, or years of training to keep his emotions in check? Whatever it is, Alec can work with it if it keeps the pain at bay. 

This reversion to his old self would disturb him if he didn’t have the wisdom to to know it’s merely temporary; a stopgap to get him by, to get them  _ all  _ by for now. The pain will come later and he will be helpless but to yield to its entry. 

But for now, Alec puts on his bravest face. There are only three people in the world who can usually see through him. Standing there with the remaining two, Alec knows the mask isn’t for them. It’s for him. And he is ready.

Alec abruptly stands up. He wobbles, not quite as stable as he thought. But Magnus catches him.

"Thanks," he says earnestly, steadying himself.

He turns away from Magnus's concerned face and looks down at Izzy still on the floor. He extends his hand to her, which she takes, and pulls her up.

"We have to go," he says simply.

"Alec..." Izzy starts, her eyes glossy with pooling tears.

"I know," he says softly, pulling her into an embrace. He squeezes her tightly for a few long moments, rocking them back and forth gently.

When he releases her, he steps back, and faces both her and Magnus.

“I need to know what happened. And we need to help Clary, if....” Alec shakes his head, for a moment unable to continue, “We need to find them and we need to finish what they started."

Izzy and Magnus exchange a look, and Alec prepares for their opposition, declaring him unfit and reckless.

But the truth is he hasn’t been able to think straight for days, since the mess he made with the Soul Sword, so what did it matter? 

And yet, as he looks from Izzy to Magnus, they only nod.

“Where should I locate the portal?” Magnus asks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I got distracted writing other fic. But I figured I better get this out before season 3 which is thankfully now almost here!

Alec, Izzy, and Magnus step through the portal to the forest flooded with light. 

"We're too late," says Izzy.

“He's raised the angel," Magnus answers.

_ No no no.  _ If that’s true, Magnus is in grave danger. They all are. And Alec has led them right into the heart of peril.

"Magnus, you need to get to safety," says Alec, trying to keep the desperation from his voice.

"We need to find Jace and Clary," Magnus says, ignoring Alec and surging forward.

Alec tears after him. He has lost Jace. And he may have already lost Magnus over their fight about the Soul Sword. But he can’t lose Magnus like this. Not to Valentine. Not to death. 

“Magnus...” Alec begins, catching Magnus’s shoulder and stopping his forward motion, “You need to get as far away from here as possible. And Izzy, you should go back... and report.” 

“Alec, if the angel is already raised… There isn’t time for this,” Magnus says, gentle but firm. 

“N-no. I can’t…”  _ I can’t lose you too, I can’t live without you _ , he wants to say, he wants to  _ scream  _ as this truth dawns on him. But the words catch in his throat, held back by the fear that his tenuous composure will shatter if he says them out loud.

“If there is anything I can do to stop this, to help save the downworld, then I have to try,” Magnus says, softly and apologetically.

Alec is still grasping Magnus’s shoulder when Magnus puts his hand on Alec’s arm.

The intimacy of the act makes Alec’s heart ache. 

“Alec, come on,” Izzy beckons.

Alec knows they’re right. If they have any hope at all of doing anything, they have to move. He drops his hand from Magnus reluctantly, and the three begin to run towards the light. 

After only a minute or so, the light abruptly recedes to a distant pulse. They all stop. 

“What does that mean…?” Izzy starts. 

Alec shrugs and looks to Magnus, who shakes his head. 

They keep moving forward for another minute before the light suddenly flares back to full strength. They are closer to it now and it’s strong and bright. All three jump back instinctively, and like vampires exposed to sun, bring their hands up to shield their faces. 

Nothing happens.

“What the hell is going on?” Alec and Izzy ask in unison. 

“Nothing good,” says Magnus solemnly, as they trek onwards. 

Just as they are finally closing in on the source of the light, it goes out completely.

Through the heavy weight of fear that they are too late, the confusion in the darkness, and his concern for Magnus, Alec doesn’t notice the sudden stir in his numb body, the missing piece awakening, his rune restored to its rightful place above his hip.

They continue their approach cautiously in the dark, until Clary's red hair is visible. She is kissing Jace. 

Jace. 

Jace? 

Alec instinctively turns his focus inwards to search for their bond. He holds his breath, still expecting to find only emptiness. But the void is been filled. Jace is there.  _ By the angel... _

Alec's mind is sent reeling. Unable to process what he’s seeing, he just keeps moving forward, only snapped out of it by the violent sight of Valentine's body on the ground.

"They're okay," he says, breathless as he turns back towards Clary and Jace, confidently but still with some confusion, his brain racing to catch up with his soul.

"Actually they're more than okay!" Izzy exclaims.

"Jace... I... I thought you were dead."  _ I know you were dead. _ "Our rune... it disappeared."

"Look at it now," Jace says.

As Alec lifts his shirt he somehow knows it will be there, but he still needs to look to be sure.

"How?" he asks.

"I don't know," answers Jace.

Izzy, Magnus, and Alec all turn towards the only thread of explanation they can think to find: Valentine.

It doesn’t make any sense but Alec really cannot bring himself to care in this moment. For now, it’s over. Valentine is dead, his parabatai is alive, his family and friends are alive, his... Magnus.... He shakes the thought aside.

"It's over," Alec repeats out loud this time, trying to convince himself more than anyone. He feels his eyes begin to sting with moisture and is compelled towards Jace, though the tears are not all for him.

"Yeah," Jace says brokenly, his composure not holding up as well as Alec's.

Alec hugs Jace fiercely, their world safe for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have loved to include a lot more Malec, but their final scene of 2x20 didn’t leave a lot of room for anything to progress between them in this earlier missing scene.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://saadiestuff.tumblr.com/)


End file.
